I'II begin Iong before I existed.
When the time came for my poor mama to be born...
my grandmother Anna Bronski...
who was stiII young and unsuspecting...
was sitting in her four skirts at the edge of a potato fieId.
That was in 1899...
in the heart of Kashubia.
PIease!
He's gone.
Anybody come this way?
Name of KoIjaiczek?
- A firebug. - Short with broad shouIders.
I seen him! Running Iike a bat out of heII!
Which way?
I don't beIieve it.
- Doesn't matter. He's gone. - Must be in Bissau.
If he's not here, it has to be one or the other.
There's no pIace eIse.
And besides, it's raining.
AII right, KoIjaiczek.
My name is Joseph.
Joseph and Anna hid with the raftsmen...
for aImost a year.
That's how Iong it took the poIice to catch up...
with my grandfather.
Don't shoot!
- Don't shoot him! - Fire at wiII!
After that dive...
KoIjaiczek was never seen again.
Some say he was drowned...
some that he...
escaped to America...
and in Chicago, under the name of Joe CoIchic...
became a miIIionaire.
They say he made his piIe in Iumber...
in matches...
and in fire insurance.
As for my grandmother...
she sat year after year in her four skirts...
hawking her wares in the market.
Geese!
Not too fat and not too Iean!
And she grew oIder.
The First WorId War came...
and instead of geese...
she had onIy turnips to seII.
Turnips!
My poor mother grew oIder too.
She was worried about her cousin Jan.
Jan had been caIIed up for duty.
- Name! - Bronski, Jan.
- Year?. - 1898.
Cough.
Rejected!
They've turned me down for another year!
For the first time, my mother...
heId her cousin Jan in her arms...
and I doubt...
if they ever embranced more happiIy.
Sister Agnes, is there too much paprika? Or does it need more cIove?
What did she say?
She says you're a born cook, Mr. Matzerath.
You know how to turn feeIings into soup.
The war had spent itseIf.
Danzig was decIared a Free State.
The poIes were given...
their own post office...
where Jan Bronski went to work.
AIfred Matzerath aIso stayed in Danzig.
We Kashubians have aIways been here.
Long before the PoIes...
and naturaIIy Iong before the Germans.
OId stuff, Jan. Now we've got peace!
Germans, PoIes, Kashubians--
we'II aII Iive together in peace.
I don't know.
WeII, you'II see.
The two men, so different despite their simiIar feeIings for Mama...
Iiked each other...
and in that triunity, they brought me, Oskar...
into the worId.
The sun was in the sign of Virgo.
Neptune moved into the house of middIe Iife...
estabIishing Oskar between faith and disiIIusion.
Push, push!
Push, Agnes, push! Push hard!
It's coming! It's coming!
I first saw the Iight of this worId...
in the form of a 60-watt buIb.
AIfred, it's a boy!
I knew it wouId be a boy...
even if I sometimes said it wouId be a girI.
Let's see how much he weighs.
When he's big, he'II take over the shop.
Now we know what we're sIaving for.
When IittIe Oskar is three years oId...
he shaII have a tin drum.
OnIy the prospect of the tin drum prevented me...
from expressing more forcefuIIy my desire...
to return to the womb.
Besides, my umbiIicaI cord had been cut.
There was nothing more to be done.
As it was, I couId hardIy wait 'tiI my third birthday.
What is it?
Oh, it's IittIe Oskar!
Do you want some more cake?
Your mouth's fiIthy.
Respect the human body. That's--
And with roIIs at 3 pfennings--
The main thing is a stabIe currency.
And pIenty to drink!
Here's to the stabIe mark and the 3-pfenning roII!
To youth!
And to beauty!
We won't be so young when we meet again!
Love, oh Iove
is a power divine!
September 12...
1927.
Next year, you'II be this big!
And then, this big! And this.
And then as big as me!
Gangway!
Fresh from the ceIIer!
- PIaying, Mr. Scheffler?. - Heavens, no!
Go ahead. I'II just watch.
Besides, it's my bedtime.
- He's aIways tired. - You shouIdn't have married a baker.
It's been a Iong time since Grandma took anyone under her skirts.
Let's have a IittIe game!
Hey, cousin, you're out of diamonds!
Don't argue! PIay!
I have two diamonds myseIf.
How wouId I now?
That day...
thinking about the grown-up worId...
and my own future...
I decided to caII a haIt...
to stop growing then and there...
and remain a three-year-oId...
a gnome, once and for aII.
One, two, three.
God! There he is!
What happened?
He's faIIen down the stairs!
Do something!
Why was the trap open?
He's bIeeding!
AIfred, it's your fauIt. You Ieft the door open!
I was onIy getting beer for everybody.
Run and get the doctor!
- It Iooks bad. - You! You! It's your fauIt.
You Ieft the trap open!
Stop! Stop!
CaIm down! What's done is done!
Two weeks in bed and Oskar wiII be as good as new.
Just a sIight concussion.
PIenty of coId compresses.
My faII was a compIete success.
The famiIy story was: On his third birthday...
our IittIe Oskar feII down the ceIIar stairs.
No bones were broken, but after that, he didn't grow--
not a singIe centimeter.
That drum again! So Ioud!
So there's my IittIe Oskar, aII weII again.
Not in the house, I said!
Besides, it's broken. You'II hurt yourseIf.
- Staying? There are mushrooms. - Sorry. Post office time.
Leave the drum here.
If you hurt yourseIf, it wiII be my fauIt again.
See? I toId you so.
Give me that drum and I'II give you a candy.
Let them have it. I'II get you a new one.
No! Oskar don't want!
We'II see about that.
AIfred, why must you...
aIways use force?
My drum!
And so I discovered that my voice was capabIe of a scream...
so highIy pitched...
that no one dared take my drum away...
Shards bring Iuck!
because when my drum was taken away, I screamed...
and when I screamed, vaIuabIe articIes burst into bits.
Where's the witch, bIack as pitch?
Here's the bIack, wicked witch!
There are going to be changes!
Scum! Beat it! I'm coming down!
O gIorious caII of the sun!
I'II take this one.
if you pIease, at this extraordinary potato:
this sweIIing, Iuxuriant flesh, forever...
conceiving new shapes...
and yet so chaste.
I Iove a potato...
because it speaks to me.
The spuds are bigger this year than Iast.
What are you doing?
Oskar Iearn to write.
Stop that. You'II never Iearn to write...
and read the great cIassics, the eternaI truths:
''Die unto Iife!''
HoId it. Now I've got aII of you.
A bit more to the right, AIex.
For you on your first day of schooI.
Eyes this way, pIease.
My name is SpoIIenhauer, and I am your teacher.
Be seated.
And now, dear chiIdren, do any of you know a song?
You must be IittIe Oskar.
We've heard so much about you!
How weII you pIay!
Isn't our Oskar a fine drummer?.
But now we'II put the drum away.
It must be sIeepy.
After schooI, you can have it back again.
You're a naughty Oskar.
I wiII now read you the program.
Monday: Writing, Arithmetic, Reading...
ReIigion.
AII together: Writing!
Arith-me-tic!
Oskar, stop that!
ReIigion.
Get out!
Strange! Very strange!
How oId is he, did you say?
Six, Doctor.
Inge, kindIy undress Oskar.
How Iong is it since he feII down the stairs?
Three years on September 12.
We'd better examine the spine again.
Be a good boy. I'II give it right back.
Oskar, give me your drum. I'II hoId it.
See, you can't get out of your shirt.
Oskar, if you're not good, the doctor won't make you weII.
Come, chiId. Give me your drum!
Amazing! Amazing!
I shaII write a paper...
about it for one of our medicaI journaIs...
if you have no objection.
The destructive force of this IocaI phenomenon...
...is such as to suggest...
an anomaIous formation of the Iower Iarynx...
in IittIe Oskar Matzerath.
Not can we excIude the hypothesis...
of a concomitant deveIopment of the vocaI cords.
Did you hear that? In a medicaI journaI!
Does the doctor say why he won't grow?
You'II have to ask him that.
Why he won't grow.
Cut it out!
He's yours as much as mine.
If not more.
Who Ieft the trap open, you or me?
UncIe HaiIandt, come spit in the soup.
Look what I found in the pond! Two frogs!
What are you doing, Tom Thumb?
Make Oskar taste the soup!
Now it's your turn.
You'II Iove it.
A treat!
Open your mouth!
Good, huh?
Just a IittIe more!
Labesweg and its backyards hemmed me in.
I Ionged for space and took every opportunity...
to escape the persecutions of the soup cooks...
by going into town...
aIone or with Mama.
Drum's busted.
Want me to mend it?
He's getting a new one.
HeIIo, UncIe Jan.
Coming?
I must Ieave you now.
A few IittIe errands.
Good-bye, Agnes.
This is for your drum, Oskar.
Who do I see? Oh, Mrs. Matzerath...
and IittIe Oskar, for a new drum?
Yes, Mr. Markus. Again.
He's aIways at it.
I never know what year it is or what day...
except when you come in.
Something teIIs me it must be Thursday again.
You have such beautifuI hands.
Oskar, see that box? Hand it to me.
That's it.
See, Mrs. Matzerath. BeautifuI stockings. SiIk!
Pure siIk. Fine quaIity!
One, two, three pairs. Take them.
They'II suit you fine. A bargain!
Much too dear for me!
- They're worth it. - Maybe Iater.
I'II Iet them go for haIf a guIden.
So cheap?
No, Markus, that's driving them away.
Take them! Don't ask questions!
And now, Oskar...
what wouId you Iike?
Oh! A new drum we need?
Just choose one. You know where they are!
See, Oskar?. He's so happy!
Mr. Markus, couId IittIe Oskar stay...
with you for haIf an hour?.
I have some important business.
Yes, yes, I'II watch him Iike the appIe of my eye.
Do your important business and don't worry.
The IittIe prince wiII stay with me...
whiIe you do your important business...
Iike every Thursday.
We're bIocking the street!
Danzig has aIways been German!
If not for the German peopIe...
these eastern regions wouId have succumbed...
to totaI barbarism...
Have a nice waIk?
The Fuhrer's speaking aII over! Except here!
And now, Iadies and gentIemen, the smaIIest of the smaII:
Bebra and his midgets!
My word!
Now it's three-year-oIds who choose to stop growing.
My name is Bebra.
DirectIy descended from Prince Eugene...
Whose father was Louis XIV...
and not some Savoyard, as has been cIaimed.
I stopped my growth on my tenth birthday.
Better Iate than never.
TeII me, my dear Oskar.
How oId are you? Fourteen? Fifteen?
TweIve and a haIf.
No! And how oId do you think I am?
Thirty-five.
FIatterer!
I shaII be 53 in August.
I couId be your grandfather.
- Are you, too, an artist? - Not reaIIy.
AIthough...
as you see, I can Iay cIaim to a certain artistry.
You must join us. You must!
Do you know, Mr. Bebra...
to teII the truth...
I prefer to be a member of the audience...
and Iet my IittIe art flower in secret.
My dear Oskar!
Trust an experienced coIIeague.
Our kind must never sit in the audience.
Our kind must perform and run the show...
or the others wiII run us.
The others are coming.
They wiII occupy the fairgrounds.
They wiII stage torchIight parades, buiId rostrums...
fiII the rostrums...
and from those rostrums, preach our destruction.
They're Iooking for you, dear friend. We'II meet again.
We're too IittIe to Iose each other.
They are coming!
These damn puttees aIways sIip!
I need boots.
You know they cost way too much.
Or Ieather gaiters at Ieast.
How do I Iook?
- Going to the demonstration? - Yes, at the fairground.
Big show!
GauIeiter Lobsack is speaking.
And what a speaker!
I'm teIIing you, these are historic days.
A man can't stand aside. Gotta join in.
You shouId read the Danzig SentineI.
Crazy your opting for PoIand.
I've toId you 20 times.
I'm a PoIe.
Think it over.
Take your umbreIIa. It Iooks Iike rain.
An umbreIIa with my uniform?
The stew is on, Stir it now and then. Be done in 20 minutes.
Bite to eat before you go?
No time. Duty is duty and schnaps is schanps.
NationaI comrades...
of Danzig and Langfuhr...
of Ohra, SchidIitz and Praust...
from the hiIIs and from the IowIands...
I know you aII...
cherish but one wish.
It has been our heartfeIt wish...
ever since a shamefuI diktat...
separated us...
from our beIoved German fatherIand.
That wish is: Home to the Reich!
What is the meaning of this Free State...
that was so generousIy foisted on us?
It means that our waterfront...
is crawIing with PoIacks.
And in the middIe of our beIoved OId City...
they've stuck a PoIish post office--
something we can do without.
We Germans had...
post offices...
before the PoIes...
even thought of writing Ietters.
We taught them the aIphabet.
And now, dear nationaI comrades...
Iet us weIcome our guest from the Reich.
Party comrade AIbert Forster...
has just arrived on the fieId.
What's going on? I want to know what's going on!
BIock aII the exits!
Can you catch them with a cIothesIine?
ReaI fish or just oId shoes?
Suppose we take a Iook?
Maybe something's there!
The sack!
CaII that fat?
You shouId have seen them...
after the battIe of JutIand...
when we and the EngIish--
See what I mean?
After the battIe...
they were this thick!
He wanted one-fifty...
but I gave him a guIden.
Don't expect me to touch your eeIs!
Don't put on airs.
I'II never eat fist again. CertainIy not eeIs.
You've aIways eaten them, and you knew where they came from.
Quiet!
Stop that drumming!
- Leave the chiId aIone! - And sit down!
Who was to bIame? Who Ieft the trap open?
OId stuff. Sit down.
See if they're not deIicious.
Come on. Dig in.
Fresh eeIs with diII sauce...
a bay Ieaf and a twist of Iemon peeI.
Don't make her eat if she doesn't want to.
- keep out of this. - Leave her aIone.
She'II onIy vomit.
I paid good money for these eeIs. Just try them.
They've been weII cIeaned and washed.
No gaII. Light, heaIthy Iiver.
And so fresh!
Oskar! Sit down!
For hours I stand at the stove.
Some peopIe wouId be very happy to eat my eeIs.
I don't know what to do.
AIfred, caIm down!
I can't taIk to her. And the fish is getting coId.
Women are more sensitive.
You taIk to her. if onIy she'd caIm down.
ShouIdn't I warm them up at Ieast?
Don't do it with Bronski...
who picked the PoIish post office.
Don't bet on the PoIes.
If you must bet, bet on the Germans.
Sooner or Iater, they'II take over.
And then you'II be stuck with Bronski...
that crazy PoIe.
You'II be in troubIe.
Why not bet on Matzerath?
Or if you'd do me great honor...
bet on me...
on Sigismund Markus...
that was just baptized.
No, Markus. PIease!
We couId go to London...
Iike everybody eIse.
Look. There he is!
We'II take him with us to London.
He'II Iive Iike a prince.
Thank you, Markus, but it's impossibIe.
And not because of Bronski.
I'm gIad to hear that.
Steer cIear of Bronski...
and stick to Matzerath!
Come on! PIay!
One-two, one-two!
Can't you...
or don't you feeI Iike it, brat?
Cause you can do everything eIse.
I have sinned in thought, in word and in deed.
AIone or with others?
With someone eIse.
When and where?
AIways on Thursday, in TischIergasse.
But, chiId! Why that Iow neighborhood?
I can't heIp it, Father. I try, but I can't.
But my dear Mrs. Matzerath, the consequences!
I've got them aIready, Father.
Father, what wiII I do with the chiId?
I Iove my IittIe Oskar...
but he's aIready 14.
AIways troubIe, and now this!
Pray, Mrs. Matzerath, pray!
Oskar, stop it!
What did I teII you? Fish again.
She doesn't eat. She gobbIes!
And she's surprised it doesn't stay down.
Oh, God, how can it be?
Been going on for three weeks.